An oldie but a goody. Our list of Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves-By Will Kahn and Bryan Lewis
****Disclaimer****If you belong to any of the groups or have any of the traits listed therein you should not be reading this anyways, because you probably suck. These are in no particular order. That being said, Enjoy!

1. People who drive slowly in the left lane of the thruway.
2. People who use umbrellas. Get a jacket and a hat you lazy FUCK!
3. Americans who can’t speak the English language properly
4. “Non-conformists”
5. 90% of people who belong to a Fraternity
6. People who always look to start a fight. Don’t be upset because you have tiny testicles…It’s a side effect of the all the ‘roids you’re goosed up on.
7. Liars (especially girls who lie) and people who are two-faced
8. People who do drugs because they think it makes them look “cool”
9. People who talk consistently through class and distract me.
10. People who don’t read books..EVER
11. People who refuse to expand their musical horizons
12. People who can’t or refuse to admit it when they’re wrong.
14. Anyone who blindly supports the Bush administration
15. People who take forever to order food while I’m in line
16. People who refer to professional athletes/celebrities by their first name, as though they are friends with him or her. E.G. “Pedro pitched awesome last night.” Or, “Did you see Denzel’s new movie”.
17. A good amount of jocks, especially baseball, football and wrestling people.
18. People who mispronounce words, e.g. “Punkin” or “Libary”.
19. People who charge inexpensive items to their credit card
20. Vegans
21. People whose first and last name don’t add up to at least 3 syllables, with the only exception being Brett Shacht.
22. People who wear real fur coats or animal skin boots.
23. Designer bags.
24. People who don’t care what’s going on in our country
25. Christian Conservatives
26. People who talk too loudly in a public setting. You know who you are!
27. Hands free cell phone kits and the douche bags that use them outside of their vehicle.
28. People who wear shorts outside during the winter…You’re so unique
29. People with poor umbrella etiquette, if you’re going to be an asshole and use one, please keep the pointy things away from my retinas
30. People who count the exact number of beers/drinks they had at a party; more so, anyone who must insist on telling you throughout the night how fucked up they are
31. People who smoke weed, listen to rap music and think they're Biggie Smalls
32. Racist people
33. Ignorant people
34. White/Chinese guys who dress like some homeboy from Brooklyn. Get your own style you impersonator. Also, anyone of any race who speaks in Ebonics.
35. Guys who intentionally wear clothes that are entirely too tight. You’re so EMO
36. People who are stingy with money when they clearly have a lot of it.
37. People who eavesdrop on conversations
38. Anyone who wears one of those stupid WWJD bracelets. Or, anyone who wears a Yellow Lance Armstrong bracelet for fashionable reasons or any one of the plethora of bullshit bracelets currently circulating.
39. Anyone with a thick Long Island accent
41. People who can’t seem to flush the toilet. Although maybe this was a rebellious act age 10, now it’s just unsanitary and gross.
42. Fat people who, although they know that they’re fat, refuse to exercise or eat properly and instead just lay around all day eating more and complaining.
43. Girls who say they’re fat when they’re clearly not.
44. Anyone on the fucking Atkins Diet
45. People who are so fat that, even though they are not disabled in any way must use a wheel chair to get around and/or have a handicap sticker.
46. 99% of reality TV
47. 75% of all TV
48. Fat girls who wear ass pants with hottie or princess written on them.
49. People who complain about contacts but refuse to wear glasses
50. People who spend too much time in front of the mirror
51. Girls who wear way too much make up.
52. People who have simple ass jobs but still can’t do them properly, and I have to pick up the slack.
53. Anyone who plays fantasy games, D and D, Magic Cards ETC.
54. Girls who don’t say thank you when I go out of my way to hold the door for them.
55. People who listen to bad rap music (almost any rap made in the last few years) and people who listen to the crap on MTV.
56. People who overuse quotes from movies or TV e.g. “I’m Rick James BITCH!”
57. People who get genuinely offended at stupid things e.g. swearing.
58. People who are pro-censorship
59. People who contradict themselves on a regular basis
60. When you are hanging out with someone (especially if it’s a girl) and they make plans to do something else right in front of you.
61. Girls who lead guys on.
62. Girls who talk, A LOT, about guys while in the company of guy(s).
63. People whom breath really loudly, specifically in a quiet setting e.g. movies and tests. (Oh Fatty McGee, the fire dept. thinks the fire alarm went off again)
64. Anything related to NASCAR. Argh! Driving a car around in a circle isn’t a sport, and most certainly doesn’t take any talent. If I wanted to watch cars driving around, I’d bring a chair to the Goddamn highway.
65. The abnormal amount of work due during the last 2 weeks of the semester.
66. Anyone who thinks they are all that and a bag of chips.
67. The influx of bad Latin music after (and including) Ricky Martin.
68. People who complain about the weather no matter what it’s like outside.
69. Jessica Simpson style boots….UGGS
70. Bad Drivers-or anyone entirely to old to be on the road. Public transportation is here for a reason, USE IT!
71. Females with Facial hair. YOWZA!
72. When you can’t tell if someone is male or female.
73. Girls with Guy haircuts
74. People who prolong class by asking the most inane questions
75. When the teacher asks a blatantly obvious question to the whole class but, no one answers and I feel obligated to (but don’t because I’m lazy).
76. People who wear professional sports shit and don’t know anything about the team except that the colors match their shoes and doo-rag.
77. The unnecessarily large (long) t-shirts that gangsta's wear.
78. Pre-Ripped Jeans
79. Anyone who thinks they know all there is to know about cars.
80. Guys who “trick out” slow cars.
81. How big of a deal it is to download music for free.
82. People who whistle along to a song, specifically if their whistling is slightly off key.
83. Guys who act like the biggest assholes and then some of the coolest, down-to-earth, girls I know (and often really like and care about) are in love with these douches.
84. When someone suggests something in conversation but then doesn’t say what it is; for example, -“You should have seen what Bob did last night, it was so crazy.” “What’d he do?” “Never mind…”
85. People who say, “That’s hot!” Just because Paris Hilton does.
86. People who think Paris Hilton has any other talents besides what she can do in the sack.
87. When shirts shrink in the dryer.
88. The fact that button technology hasn’t gone anywhere since it was invented-things really should be faster.
90. McDonalds-pretty much everything about it.
91. The fact that it’s “hip” to be into Kabbalah…because of Madonna…Who was once the nations biggest whore. Kind of makes you think.
92. People whom talk online on AIM or some sort of instant messaging service while I’m on the phone with them.
93. Most guys with the following names: Todd, Darryl, Stanley, Guy (not pronounced “Gee”, because that’s cool), ‘topher, when your real name is Christopher, and Ishmael. Ishmael mostly just for good measure.