Aliens-You've poked and prodded but you still don't know who we are

I know what you’re saying. Why is this a valid topic to write about? You’ll see my friends you’ll see. I have a few questions for these so-called “extraterrestrials”.

Why does it seem like these aliens are always abducting rednecks. I mean, the south and those that prescribe to a redneck set of beliefs do make up a solid amount of our country, but they don’t speak for the world. These people shoot guns at anything that moves, mate within their own families, believe squirrels are a delicacy etc. They don’t have a lot of teeth either. Last time I checked this is not the case with the average earthling, except the whole shooting guns at everything part. So, why hicks? I guess they’re dumb enough to be wandering in a field at an ungodly hour of the night but it just seems to me, thinking like an alien of course, that you’d want one of two things in the earthlings that you decide to abduct. If your goal, as said alien, were taking over our planet, wouldn’t you want to abduct the leaders, or at least someone who was mildly intelligent? I mean, I’m no “alien expert” (get used to me being not at expert at anything I talk about in this blog) but, I seem to remember watching an alien show or two on sci-fi channel or National Geographic and, no offense…actually fuck it, to full offense, the “survivors” were not all that intelligent. It’s not hard to mispronounce “U.F.O.” seeing as how they are just letters in the form that we’ve all agreed upon but these people manage to pull it off, quite nicely I might add. I’ve got this feeling, and call me crazy, but if aliens are hell bent on universal domination and, quite obviously, need the earth to complete that goal, the people they should be poking and prodding should be the people hell bent on world domination; Like the Bush administration for instance. They could probably use an anal probe stuck up their respective Asses. Although there may not be enough room with all the bullshit they got up there. But that’s for a whole different blog all together. The second type of person aliens should be more interested in abducting are people that they’d like to kill. Oh wait…maybe they’re on the right track when they park outside of the Indianapolis 500.
A smarter choice would be going to a college town or an urban area to really find information about the human species right? There’s plenty of people, different ethnicities and different levels of intelligence. So why not go to New York City and suck up some Manhattanite while he’s sipping his Starbucks coffee and probably holding an umbrella.

Although I don’t really know how sticking something up an ass is a valid way to gain information on us humans. Maybe that’s not even the case, maybe they’re just perverts.

Either way, Aliens, You may think you know us, but you have no idea!